When you become a mother, you lose yourself.
You become a giver to everyone but yourself. Its instinctual. And we become so hard on ourselves, we compare our old lives to our new life with kids. We compare to other mums we see on social media who seem to have it all together. From my experience, no-one has their shit together, and we all have different versions of the same story. We have the same fears and self doubts. Your relationship with yourself changes, but you don't really lose yourself.
When you become a mother, you are RE-BORN. Its an opportunity to re-discover ourselves. Its time we started being ok with our own journey. Its time we started being easy on ourselves and forgiving ourselves for fucking up. Suffering from parental guilt is the most painful thing. Can we just drop the guilt, the shaming and blaming and love where we are at right in this moment?
Do you ever stop and really listen to the words running through your head?
'That was a stupid thing to say.'
'My house is a disaster.'
'I'm such an idiot.'
'I hate my body.'
'Are my kids gonna turn out ok'
To be a kind, whole hearted, peaceful parent, you need to start with you. Give yourself a little grace today. Smile into your own eyes in the mirror and name one thing you LOVE about you. When you mess up (and you will) tell yourself it's okay and decide how you can do better next time. Every mistake is an opportunity to grow and evolve so really there are no mistakes. Children don't want perfect parents. Its not the experience they came for.
LIFE IS IMPERFECT. There are ups, downs, happy and sad. There is light, and there is dark, and its part of the awesome, messy, wild experience we call life. Learning to embrace the shadow side of life is the key. Light and dark is what makes up the whole. To avoid the dark side of ourselves is to ignore a very valid part of who we are. We cannot hide from ourselves.
A peaceful life doesn't come from peaceful circumstances. It comes from a peaceful you.